My name is Kaiyue Ma.

It means literally: Joyful Mysterious Gem of the Land of Horses’ Taming.

My father wanted to name me “Kaiming” (joyful & bright), which he thought sounds like the English word “coming”. What he didn’t know was that the English word “coming” sounds exactly like something else.

Fortunately, and/or unfortunately, I couldn’t use the Chinese character Ming as it was in a family elder’s name. They had to take a stroke from Ming (明), thereby making it Yue (玥).

My surname Ma (horse) was derived from Mafu, which means horses’ taming. There is a Chinese saying: success arrives immediately after the arrival (coming) of the horse you ride on. This was the reason why my father wanted to name me Kaiming. Yet, I am stuck with Kaiyue now, so you can say I am one stroke away from being successful.

In China, people add “Zi” to sages’ names to show respect. For example, Confucius’s clan surname was Kong, so people call him Kong Zi.

“Zi” will never be appended to my name no matter how notable I will ever become.

Ma Zi, is a derogatory slang for a female lover.
Kai Zi, is a derogatory slang for a male lover.
Yue Zi, is the official name for the period of time of postpartum confinement.

I also have a nickname, Liu Liu.

My mother and paternal grandmother both have Liu as their surnames. However, the “Liu”s in my nickname are not the surname Liu (刘). They are “keep” (留) and “flow away” (流), representing the wish that I would keep my parents’ virtues and let their weaknesses flow away.

By the way, Liu Zi means tumor.

P.s.
I also have an English name, Jason. One of my elementary school English teachers insisted that I should have an English name, so she decided to call me Jason for reasons never disclosed to me, even though, at the time, I really hoped to be called Mark. Anyway, now I come to think of it, Mark Ma is just too comical, and I’m glad I never used that name.

Right about the time when I got to San Diego, I actually loved the name Jason. Jason means “the healer”, which is something I would love to be. Though, this did not last long, and I decided I should probably just ask people to call me Kaiyue, however hard it is to be pronounced.

What happened was, one day, I went to get coffee, and was asked my name, so I said “Jason”. It was probably due to my accent that the barista misheard me and asked, “Jesus?”. I responded, “No, Jason. I can’t be Jesus”, waiving my hand before my face emphasizing the drastic difference between me and the stereotypical image of Jesus. The barista laughed, “You never know”.